A Chat about Flogging, September 9, 2020

Flogging #fetchat announcement

Content: Discussions of flogging and impact play. Mentions of self-harm.

#fetchat date: September 9, 2020

#fetchat is a weekly Twitter chat for anyone interested in exploring the world of kinks and fetishes. The responses below were comments made by #fetchat followers. The answers are posted as they appeared in the chat. We’ve removed the identities of those responding out of respect for their privacy.

Don’t forget to check out the Beyond #fetchat posts that were inspired by Flogging.


Before we get started – just in case you’re new to the world of flogging take a peek at this flogger to get acquainted with the different parts of these beauties.  (add in infographic)

What types of sensation do floggers create in impact play? What affects the sensation of a flogger?

Our guest said:

falls of a flogger by @QuenbyCreatives
Picture provided by @QuenbyCreatives

Floggers can be used for all sorts of sensations, ranging from delicate sensory play to intense pain which can push anyone to their limits! How they feel depends on a lot of different factors, the weight, material, cut of the falls, and how it’s used all play a role here. For example, this flogger has a fairly heavy weight, made of leather, cut in long thin falls cut to a point. It tends to be fairly stingy and lends itself to more sadistic play.

Other folks said:

Floggers can create a whole range of sensation – it depends on the material the falls are made of, the way the flogger is swung, the area of the body it’s used on.

In my (fairly limited) experience a flogger’s a “stingy” hurt rather than a “thuddy” hurt. Unless you use the handle as an impact tool, which I tend to like a lot. I’d like to try a heavier flogger, I think that would give a thuddier bite.

Depends on the materials the flogger is made with, as well as the number of falls, the width, and their construction. I tend to think of floggers as an irritant or stingy, but that is because I tend to use it for warm up w/ thin rubber falls.

I think since they have more tails, they spread out the sting a bit more. But it depends on the material too (leather vs more fluffy stuff). I think technique too (wrist control, etc.) affects the degree of sting, as well ass where you flog (I’m leaving that typo).

Intense or relaxing. Thuddy or stingy. Senses vary depending on how heavy the flogger is wielded, the type of flogging one is doing, and the weight and material of the falls. It’s a very versatile tool. 

Ooh I love floggers – depending on the force/ material used they can be stingy or thuddy. Heavy leather ones ftw. Thuddy and the smell = a very happy me.

A heavy flogger with thicker tails will provide a very pleasant thud.  Fewer, thinner tails will combine thud and sting. And a few thin, knotted tails give a terrible sting  #fetchat

floggers are really versatile. Depending on what they’re made of they can have all different sensations. And how they’re used can make a difference too. I tend to find them gentle but not always!

 In all seriousness, this was well answered by everyone else. 

Tingly to stingy. Depends a lot on the material/weight of the flogger. Most of the sensation is topical, but some muscle contraction and relaxation. Can heighten the senses and set the stage for more intense play.

What are the different ways a flogger can be used during a play scene?

Our guest said:

As I said in A1 it’s a very versatile toy. You can use them for gentle sensory play or put some force behind your swings for more intense sadistic/discipline play

Other folks said:

I love that you bring up discipline play as well as s&m, since I find discupline vs s&m can play very different roles in very different scenes depending on one’s kinks. Sometimes someone wants the act of flogging but not associates “pain” (so to speak)

my favorite way is as a warm up tool for more heavy impact scenes. Rhythmic flogging & sensory play can wake up the skin and also help my bottom settle into the scene as well as helping me focus. The warm up is playful & beneficial for all. 

they can be soft and gentle (dragged along sensitive skin) or vigorous and s&m. Creativity is also important, as can be restraint (such as waiting for the flogging can accentuate the sensation). Use of blindfolds or other toys can play well, too.

Good point! Restraint is so important. I think with a tool like a flogger it’s important to build the sensation. 

It really depends on the intention of the holder but floggers can be as mean or sensual you like. We have a metal beaded flogger and when dipped in cold/hot water, can be awesome for sensation play! It’s also a mean mofo if used for impact play.

You can use a flogger for gentle sensation, like dragging the tips of the falls over someone’s skin.  For more intense sensation, there are thuddier. Silicon falls can be used to create a stinging sensation. You can use the handle (w. a condom) as a penetrative tool.

If I’m being flogged, I like taking the heavy thuds that feel like a massage on my upper back.  But when it’s in my hand, I’m a big fan of gently running the tails over someone and using the flogger to tease.

I love them for warm up play. The teasing sensation of it being dragged across my skin, with unpredictable sudden impact on sensitive areas. Drives me crazy.

What are the important points to discuss before, during, and after using a flogger in a scene?

Our guest said:

How much experience someone has with floggers? Whether they prefer thuddy or stingy impact play? Aftercare and check-in needs? What sort of scene they’re looking for? Warning signs and where they want to be flogged?

Other folks said:

Yes! So often I think folks dive into scenes with tools they may be unfamiliar with or don’t ask the person wielding the tool what their experience is! It’s so important to keep lines of communication open.

I think make sure some game plan is in place by talking about it first, have a safeword/red&yellow. During pay attention to how the scene feels emotionally. Afterwards, have fun talking about what was liked, what wasn’t as fun, and maybe have some aftercare snacks, 

Any medical issues or triggers, Prior experience, sensation preferences, goals during the scene, safe words. Checking in during a scene and aftercare are equally important as well as hydration and post-scene analysis.  Did you have fun?

I would discuss previous experience with floggers, if any and if how they felt. Discuss limits and where it can be used. Also aftercare and their needs when the session has ended.

Before:  How much are you into the flogger and how many times have you used one?  

During:  Is this good with you?  Harder, softer, faster, slower? After:  Was it what you wanted and do I need to change anything for next time.

Before: Body parts to miss, type of marks to be left (if any). During: feedback. Afterwards: discussion on what you both liked/didn’t like/want to try next time.

 How much experience do they have with it? If none or little, definite want to start off light. Hard limits and safe words, as with any kink. No strike or touch areas.

Let’s talk safety – what are the safe areas of the body strike with a flogger? 

Our guest said:

It depends a lot on how hard you’re hitting. The only area I’d say NEVER flog is the head (falls+eyes are a very bad combination). Gentle sensory flogging is feasible on most of the rest of the body, but you need to be very careful that you can control the power.  If you want to hit hard the buttocks and shoulders are the safest areas to hit. Be careful not to go up on the lower back and sides around the buttocks, and avoid the spine and neck when flogging shoulders.

Other folks said:

Really depends on materials & how hard your strike is. I’d say, never the head or the face. But for example, some horsehair or a light suede floggers are used more for sensation than pain and can be used in traditional no go zones, like breasts.

One of the reasons I like spanking with a hand is the immediate sensation and feedback I get. Flogging is fun, but I don’t care as much for whips or canes. The margin of error due to enthusiasm to me is something that can take me out of the mood.

Oh I wish I could find that “safe area” impact play poster someone posted a bit back….For me, those zones are safest for hard strikes. But for the soft stuff, you can run the tails over many body parts to accentuate the later, heavier blows. I try on myself 1st.

 For me, personally love being flogged hard on my shoulders, back and bum.All areas really suitable if there isn’t a huge amount of force behind the strikes.We watch out around my kidneys for harder strikes as if have issues with them. Chat together, understand limits.

Diagram time!!!  Ass and thighs are good to go!  Go lighter on the lower abdomen, calves, upper back/shoulders, and chest/breasts.  Avoid joints, face, spine, and the areas around vital organs.  Especially the kidneys!! 

I’d made this one awhile back

I stick to the upper back and shoulders for lighter flogging and buttocks and upper thighs for harder. I stay away from lower back and lower legs and anywhere soft tissue doesn’t have skeletal protection like stomach.

What is Wrapping and why can it be dangerous if you’re not practiced with a flogger?

Our guest said:

Wrapping is when you make contact part way down the falls rather than with the tip. As it makes contact the falls pivot around the point of contact. As you do so it accelerates, and wraps around the body. In experienced hands it can be used for fun reasons, but unless you’re very skilled it can easily mean you hit somewhere you didn’t mean to hit a lot harder than you meant it to hit, which can be unpleasant or unsafe for the floggee!

Other folks said:

Hadn’t heard of the term previously but I have experienced it in play when we first started experimenting. Practice, practice, practice. Try the flogger on you and understand how it feels and understand its weight before trying on someone else. 

Wrapping is where the tails actually wrap around the body.  It can pull the skin and the ends of the tails can snap VERY hard.  I won’t lie, it hurts.  It usually is the result of poorly time/too hard swing.  Practice on a large pillow to avoid wrapping.

My understanding of wrapping is when the falls literally wrap around the body when striking someone. If it’s not practiced safely and in only specific parts of the body it can result in pretty gnarly injury.

When the impact lands in the middle of the falls and wraps around to strike an unintended area. If you’re wrapping, then you cannot ensure the safety of your bottom. Practice on a pillow to work on aim & learn to control intensity by testing on yourself.

When the falls literally wrap around the body, and create unintended impact. Dangerous because it can hit very sensitive areas or areas that impact could cause major damage. Also your partner may not have consented to.

All I know is it really freaking hurts.

What specific aftercare practices are a “must” after using flogger during play? Remember both Dominants & submissives need aftercare.

Our guest said:

This is hard to answer as aftercare is such a personal thing! A heavy flogging can be strenuous for both top and bottom so I’d recommend a drink of water for both. Gentle rubbing or ointment can soothe the pain if needed. Other than that whatever you need at the time.

Other folks said:

For me, check for physical injuries, have after care products (lotions, food, etc), and talk. For emotional care, check in before, during, afterwards, and after afterwards (e.g., it can take me a few days, sometimes, for a particularly heavy scene to wind down). 

I think aftercare is down to personal, individual needs. I often enjoy being rubbed down afterwards. I find the heat in his hands soothing and then held. 

Yes, same.  touch is what I need most for aftercare.

Everybody’s aftercare needs are different.  For me, after heavy impact play, I need a little space, a lot to drink, and a soft spot to come down from the endorphins.  Once that’s covered, I love to talk about how the session went and what I got from it.

Aftercare is a really personal thing – I do think that after a strenuous physical session, I think food (blood sugar care), water (hydration), caring for bruises, gentle stretching, and an emotional/psychological check-in. Any play can create intense emotional/psychological reactions in people (both D and s) – as intensity increases, so does the potential for intense reactions. It’s important to make time for checking for drop in everyone!

Hydration! And making sure no one needs medical attention first. Then it depends on the desires of both the Dom & sub. Aftercare preferences should be negotiated before the scene. Follow up a couple of days later to see about sub and Dom drop. 

For me touch is everything. Just rubbing your fingers across me in any way please.

As with any BDSM play, assure them it is over and they are in a safe place as you ease them out of sub space. Light massage or a warm bath can be very soothing after impact play.

What should you look for when buying a flogger? What tips would you have for someone looking to include flogging in their play? 

Our guest said:

First thing you want to consider is what sort of flogger you need. Don’t buy a big spiky rubber flogger as your first flogger, someone will get hurt in a bad way! Consider your partners preferences and your own competency. Consider the falls, weight and material will affect how it feels, how it moves through the air, how it will last with age. If you’re serious about flogging it’s worth investing in a decent one from an independent maker, the quality difference is big, mine cost £45 or so.

Other folks said:

Know what you want to use it for. Materials are important, as is quality. Floggers are some of the cheapest (and least understood) BDSM toys out there. And don’t think price determines intensity. Rope floggers are cheaper than suede, but start w/ suede.

Material is a big one. Rubber is stingy, leather more thuddy and rope is kinda a mix of the two. Personally first time , I would suggest ribbons. Something to practice arm swing with. For example we have a leather one, it’s heavy and lush. We have another leather one with

With balls, which is lighter but in fact hits harder because the balls give it an extra force when you swing it. Discuss what your partner is wanting and then try find one to suit both your needs. Remember to try it on yourself as both the giver and receiver. Understanding the

Does it feel right in your hand?  Is weight balanced evenly?  Does it swing comfortably?  Does it fit in the place space?  Does it deliver the sting or the thud that you’re looking for?  Most of these things can be tested by swinging it against your arm.

I always slap it on my arm and thigh to feel the weight and sting. I look for quality of workmanship, materials used, and how does it feel? Is the vendor reputable? It’s worth getting a variety for lots of different sensations.

A comfortable handle.

And let’s not forget the amazing video example of the Florentine flogging technique by @QuenbyCreatives

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What are your thoughts?