A Chat About Impact Play, January 29, 2020

impact play tile with picture of flogger

Content: Impact Play

#fetchat date: January 29, 2020

#fetchat is a weekly Twitter chat for anyone interested in exploring the world of kinks and fetishes. The responses below were comments made by #fetchat followers. The answers are posted as they appeared in the chat. We’ve removed the identities of those responding out of respect for their privacy.


How would you define impact play?

Our guest said:
“Impact play is pretty much what it sounds like, where one partner strikes another with their hands or an implement. Impact play doesn’t have to be extreme… unless you’re into that.”

Other folks said:
“I tend to use the more specific terms (spank play, whip play, flogging, etc). I guess I’d put impact play under the umbrella of bdsm, and it would be inclusive of anything that involves some form of impact from one person to another (usually with the goal of S&M?)”

“Any BDSM-related activity involving “impact” as commonly associated with spanking, flogging, or striking. It’s “play” as long as all parties are consenting (informed) adults with the necessary prior knowledge and agreement to engage in such activities safely.”

“anything that results in an impact. It can be soft or hard, it can leave a mark or not. It can be a hand or it can be a toy. But anything where something is striking a person.”

“Anything that has a lasting sensation and makes me gasp audibly? I don’t think bruises are necessarily required to define this.”

What types of objects can you use for impact play?

Our guest said:
“Anything and everything! Start in your kitchen. Wooden spoons, pancake flippers… Remember this scene from Stripes? https://youtube.com/watch?v=hYq75Gm4UdI…
Not sure I’d pick the egg beater, but we don’t kink shame! 🙂 In the bedroom, belts are an easy go-to… and of course, leather toys like Tawse and floggers! We once Made a custom Razor Strop for a client, and they LOVED it! It had a real Classy feel to it. “

Other folks said:
“Anything! Depending on what kinds of impact you like. Most common tools are floggers and paddles. My unconventional favorites? A roll of paper towels. A roll of gift wrapPool noodles. A fly swatter”

“In lieu of an answer, I’m just going to agree with @AmericanRuin’s answer again and draw even further attention to the fact that Stripes had the best, most adorable mainstream BDSM scene in cinema.”

“floggers, paddles, wooden rulers, hand, rope….the list goes on…”

“imagination is the limit for what you can use, and themes can be fun to play out. I generally think of “innate” vs “objects” as the primary difference. My favorite was using a book to do some spanking 😈That being said, use blunt objects. Its impact, not impaling.

“Looks around most practical items that can be properly cleaned before and after. Likely not my refrigerator or TV. 🙂”

“Anything from a hand (or a foot) to wooden spoons, canes, floggers, quirts, etc. I’m partial to the smack of a long wooden shoehorn & the thud of leather. It depends on what the scene’s about, what’s intended from the impact session, & the needs of those playing.”

“My favourite … a pineapple :-)”

Does the sensation of impact differ with the type of object used?

Our guest said:
“Our leather laced rulers come in all different varieties as well. The thin ones are fun & make great smacking noise. If used forcefully enough, will break over a bottom’s bottom, a great way to end a scene! We love the basic discipline strap that you are modeling! Of course, and impact will differ person to person. Wifey hates canes but loves the sting of a french martinet with stiff leather. Floggers with softer leather can be nice and thuddy, and a great way to warm someone up.”

Other folks said:
“Um…yes? Some hit with a thud, some with a thwap, some sting some will leave lasting effects”

“Absolutely. Sensations change based the general size of the surface area impacted, and the force+velocity generated prior to impact. These are all dynamically effected by the material, weight, size, and distribution of the object used.”

“yes! Think of the words in classic comic books.
THUD!
WHAP!
SMACK!
BANG!
POW!
BOOM!
Different kinds of impact.
Experimenting with them is fun”

“SOUND! Yes. Yes. Yes. One thing I think folks sometimes forget in impact play is that it is a full-sensory experience – the sensation is only a part of the equation. There’s language (like we talked about last week w. @TristanPGP) & sound, smell, taste…”

“personally only recently got into impact play, and only through flogging so far, with a one time foray into spanking. Receiving a flogger it is interesting. My experience is with leather strip floggers with small or thick strips. Small is stingy while thick is thumpy. Giving a flogging things are different, the impacts are not felt but heard and observed. Stingy leaves thin strips of red, thumpy turns the whole area red depending on how the receiver bruises.”

“definitely! I like the more thudding impact of a flogger or paddle over the sting of the crop. Both of course are delicious in their own ways but feel very different. it also has a lot to do with how the impact tool is being used and how much force is being used. “

“Most definitely, but I think it also depends on the recipient. What may be thud for me, may be sting to another. Material of the implement has a lot to do with it, imo”

“Most definitely!! Depending on the implement being used and what kind of sensation you’re wanting. The Cane is stingy. The Paddle is Thuddy. But, it also goes by how its used. Soft play or intense play. As long as you have clearly discussed what your willing to try, have fun!”

What different ways can you incorporate impact play into a scene?

Our guest said:
“If you are wanting to try some light impact play, start with basic spanking.
This can be done during foreplay to test the waters. You can whisper in their ear “You like that?” as a check without breaking the mood. If they are really into it, spank harder. You can add a “You like that, don’t you dirty girl” or whore or fill in the blank. As a bottom, make sure to be honest. If it’s not your kink, SAY SO. That’s so much better than staying quiet to “please my Master” & end up spoiling the experience for you both.”

Other folks said:
“talking about it can be a sexy start. Keep in mind timing of impact play too. Sometimes what is sexy later isn’t sexy earlier. So you might need to work up to some impact(ful) play. But some people might want to start with it as part of foreplay. So talk about it 1st”

“as a punishment, you can use something the other person is not necessarily comfortable with (remember safe words and consent though!) As a reward, it can be something the other person particularly enjoys.”

“We treat impact play as a reward in our house (as opposed to a punishment). That makes it easy to sprinkle in to any informal scenes, and most of our more formal (pre-planned) scenes involve an impact play aspect. The trick is just to talk about it ahead of time.”

“I love how you point out the importance of interpretation, and the use of impact play as part of pleasure as opposed to “punishment” (per se).”

‘Ooh good golly miss molly. The best way I can sum it up is this: will impact further solidify the objective of your scene? The answer is more complex than Twitter will allow me to describe. I’d have to close my work laptop.”

” I mainly bottom outside of D/s context. Most of my scenes are straight up impact, because that’s what I’ve negotiated with the Top. We discuss what we want to achieve and how we’ll get there”

What safety concerns/issues should you talk about before, during, and after a scene?

Our guest said:
“Before – Negotiations are paramount to a good scene, whether U are brand new or been married for years. For us, it’s a simple check in. How are U feeling? Are U sore? Hungry?Do U want impact, sensation, heavy, light? A quick session or an all day affair? During – Check in often! Use safe words. Yellow is the most important word we use. Yellow can save a scene before having to stop all the fun. Subs & Bottoms – PLEASE do not hold back on safe words! After care is SO important, mentally and physically. If you’ve hit BIG Dom or subspace, realize the effects can last for up to a day or two so again, CHECK IN. Communicate. Give love and hugs and reassurance about how awesome it was. Communication is KEY in any relationship, scene, vanilla or Kinky. Can’t stress this enough.”

Other folks said:
“any past bad experiences should be discussed. Triggers. Hard limits. Safewords. Be sure to always ask your partner’s “status” when using something that youve never used before to make sure they don’t need a break “

“discuss boundaries beforehand, check in during, & follow up after. Okay, that was pretty standard. I’ll add in if you are a power bottom check in with your sub top, because it can be hard for some subs to inflict “pain.” And respect the safe word – it’s our friend 👍”

“Have a medical plan (ie: tops should probably know CPR, how to seek help), discuss what to expect (try not to improvise), check-in throughout the scene, have plan for how to deal with sub space, know when it’s time to end the scene, have a plan for aftercare. “

“Before: talk about what everyone wants from the scene, potential triggers, tools, body parts that are fair game for impact, safety precautions, aftercare protocols & play duration. During: Frequent physical/emotional check-ins. Aftercare: Skin checks & first aid (like arnica gel and cold compresses), snuggles/cuddles, gentle touch & coming back together is important for both D & s, massage, food/water, deep mindful breathing, & debriefing what worked & didn’t work.”

“Top of the list is areas of the body (other than the widely accepted) that are unsafe for the recipient. What experience does your top have? Do you trust your top? Level set expectations for the before, during, and after play.”

What tips would you give someone interested in exploring impact play?

Our guest said:
“Test out a few things to see what feels good to you. practice slapping yourself on the butt or arm before you practice on others. get to know your own strength. Explore wood, leather, metal, synthetics, and see what works for you and/or your partner. Experimentation is key, but also really fun! Going to Munches and other Kinky gatherings, talking to others is good, too. Watch others, listen to others and above all, have fun!”

Other folks said:
“balance risk with pleasure, and don’t jump into the deep end immediately. Do you research, know how it might be felt by others and/or yourself before indulging in the impact play, and communicate often and clearly. Be safe, have fun, and knowledge is power.”

“don’t be afraid to speak up if it’s too much. Feel the instruments yourself. Start soft and build up. Don’t just jump right into canes.”

“I’d tell them to study mindfulness. I’d tell tops to practice guided mindfulness sessions with their bottoms (Doms with their subs, etc) in order to establish baseline healthy breathing, expression, and skin tone observations before getting into spanking sessions.”

“Know what you’re doing & where to strike. Don’t play above your skill level or with tools you aren’t familiar with. Like @TristanPGP mentioned – have a safety/medical plan in case someone gets hurt. NEVER skip the pre-play discussion and the post-play aftercare.”

“prepare for aftercare first. Don’t trust someone who carries a flogger but not a good healing ointment. (Aquaphor works well)”

“Munch that shit up. Exchanging ideas with others can also help with keeping an eye out for red flags that others may have learned the hard way. Even if you aren’t the top, learn the safe way to inflict impact. That will help you spot unsafe tops.”

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